Before it began, where did it begin?

I read this/heard this line somewhere (most likely in a movie, because I've been watching a lot of them lately), and it got me thinking. So I saved it in my notes and thought I'd give it some thought later.

Where did it begin?

In this case, it being my freelance journey.

When we were doing our MBA, everyone kept asking, discussing what kind of job you wanted to do. What's your ideal job profile? Job role? I always said I didn't see myself working a 9-5.

There was no particular reason. I didn't have any corporate experience to base it on. I just felt it. It felt too restrictive. Maybe seeing my sister work her ass off (thanks to her, I could take the plunge into freelancing), I couldn't picture myself living like that.

But I knew I had to do the corporate thing, even if it was just for a few years. I didn't want to miss out, and I'm glad I didn't.

But where it really began was in 2024. I quit in December 2023, served my notice period in January 2024, while applying to jobs (I didn't want to go home without one). I made this then.

I’ll send another email, if I find the page, i swear I hate the picture. (it said things like, entrepreneur, freelance, remote work)

I had totally forgotten about it until two months ago when I opened this diary. It has a to-do list from early April, when I was figuring out what to work on, finding meaning in working for myself, and building a life I wanted to wake up to every day.

This title, this sentence, is somehow so close to me. You can pick anything. A friendship. A relationship. A career. A fallout. Everything has a beginning before it all began.

And it feels like a good question to sit with.

Right now, I'm in this rut. Which I call a rut, but ChatGPT calls life. This began in December 2025. (A lot of things seem to begin in December.) I was working on a lot of things but felt uninspired. And that just kept going on for six months.

But it isn't like I gave up entirely. I kept trying different things, but nothing has clicked until now. So I'll keep experimenting and seeing what sticks.

And maybe two years down the line, when I ask myself, Where did this begin? this is where it did.